“I am having problems connecting with people during this time. It is overwhelming to be on Zoom and I worry about the long-term effects of social media use. How can I remain empathetic given this overload of information and bombardment of technological stimulation?”
There is science behind why virtual meetings and online socialising drain us so. In-person exchanges offer a wealth of auxiliary communication cues that we subconsciously use to compute how to further the conversation. There is a pop psychology/business myth, drawn from flawed deductions off a research paper, that communication is 93% nonverbal in nature. While that percentage is inaccurate as the real story is more complex, this erroneous thought does imply the tremendous impact of nonverbal cues in communication. And this information is absent when we are restricted to the small confines of a video conferencing screen. In addition, we cannot help but self-monitor when we see ourselves on a screen. Our eyes dart to our image to check our hair, to ensure our smile isn’t crooked. Zoom was my teaching tool even pre-pandemic and my eyes still fall prey to the little rectangle that is a mirror. Trying to fill in the blanks of missing nonverbal communication cues and absorbing additional self-information that is now available expends considerable mental and physical energy.
Passive consumption of online content also exacerbates our lethargy as scrolling through social media does little to encourage positive emotions, which allow us to broaden our thinking and approach difficulties with resilience. This isn’t simply about being “positive” or “happy.” We have access to other positive emotions like awe and interest, and Barbara L. Fredrickson, the foremost scholar in this regard, argues that the lack of positive emotional experience diminishes our ability to socially connect and bond. According to her broaden-and-build theory, we need positive emotions to facilitate our ability to face and resolve problems, which in turn leads to personal growth and social development.
Recognising that behavioural economists have engineered the game against us, and that humans will ultimately react primitively to physical stimuli, we can use this awareness to increase our intentionality with our online routine. Although it may be tricky to protect the boundary of our virtual space given the current state of affairs, trying to limit online meeting time and structuring Zoom meetings to allow for mental and physical breathers is one baby step forward. A friend shared the 20-20-20 rule to relieve eye strain: Every 20 minutes, for 20 seconds, shift your gaze to something that is 20 feet (about 6 metres) away.
These are common suggestions and still useful: cap social media time, and delete or deactivate apps to reduce the ease of access. A client recently shared that she acquires print versions of her textbooks, in addition to the standard digital copies used these days. Next, be assertive; gently turning down offers to socialise online can further delineate work and life spaces. Retain Zoom as a work tool and offer other options to people who want to connect with you, so that we mentally associate Zoom solely with work, and by doing so, we create work-life balance in our headspace.
Once we regain recognition of and connection with a range of positive emotions, we will be less fatigued and more able to enjoy the fulfillment of connecting with others.